aspiringyoungwriter

Okay, first of all, this isn't a review just a single comment. Make your paragraphs smaller, they're very intimidating. It makes things easier for both the reader and the writer. ...

I noticed this: I believe conceived on an old, cheap motel mattress, somewhere where they had the money to stay a few days. I think this should be: I believe ...

I noticed this:[quote="OynxFire"]\ I believe conceived on an old, cheap motel mattress, somewhere where they had the money to stay a few days. \.[/quote] I think this should be: I ...

Hi! I think your story was good, if a little vague. The main character seems kind of pessimistic while evaluating herself in the mirror, which I thought was interesting. I ...

I don't know how to do the quote thing but I'll do my best. Here I go... Quote: "Being stuck as a wolf was painful, and the rocky shore ahead ...

Awesome. You wrote a great story here, but I did notice some things that weren't quite... right. Like, you didn't really note the changing of time and what happened to ...

Okay, so, thanks to the people who commented on my first draft I really appreciated it! This is my second draft and, personally, I think it's must better than the ...

Hello! As I've already noted, this is a revised version of The Chosen One, Chapter 2 but is otherwise no different from the original. The symbol that I wrote about ...

Okay, so I know my advice won't help very much but here we go... So I noticed that you didn't really describe your main character enough for me to imagine ...

Okay, so your story was good, I liked it but you need to make it a bit more entertaining(no offense). And sometimes your grammar is a bit incorrect. I really ...

Great job! I loved this story, it was entertaining and imaginative! In my opinion there really isn't much to critique. But how do you pronounce 'Uruvion'? You should have, like, ...

WOW. You did great with this story. I think you could take it far. But I do have some things to point out. When you said 'Blood ran down in ...

Okay, so here it goes... Well you were right when you said it bounces around a lot. I couldn't really keep up with what was happening, it just wasn't very ...

Hi there! I'm aspiringyoungwriter! What I want to point out first is that the first paragraph of your story was really good, I admit that you had me hooked. All ...

I just wanted to say thank you to the people who gave me the constructive criticism I need. I hope I do better this time, I tried not to ramble ...