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Re: The Last Good Bye (edited:ending)
'But it cant be,I just met her!" I gasped to him self. That doesn't make sense to me. Also, I think the way you wrote it is really cool, but, ...
Nov 6, 2009 -
Re: katy lost her virginity yesterday
It was pretty good. But it definitely needs some dialogue.
Nov 6, 2009 -
Re: Hillsong - 1
All of the grammar things were taken care of by the other critiques. Overall it is a very great story so far and i like the idea, but i agree ...
Nov 5, 2009 -
Re: Black
I think that the whole color thing is a really cool idea. The story is also very heartfelt. There are a few grammatical errors but i think the other replies ...
Nov 5, 2009 -
Re: Undecided but not unsure
Not wind up common and really bored. That line sounds kind of awkward. But everything else sounds great! I like the title and basic idea a lot.
Nov 5, 2009 -
Re: taaken down :]
This is amazing. I wish I could draw like this. Mine never end up coming out like this.
Nov 5, 2009 -
Re: The Sea Lions
Three O’clock in the afternoon, I scuffed my feet along the cold cement trailing a good three yards behind my parents and my twin. I pictured how many people’s footprints ...
Nov 5, 2009
