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  • Fanfiction Short Stories Re: Obliviate- Part One

    Hi Island6 I love this, it makes a great first chapter. (It may help that I love Harry Potter) I liked that I can get a good grasp of the ...

    Sep 25, 2011
  • Fantasy Short Stories Re: Snatched

    Hi I'll start by saying that I enjoyed reading this. I think that it could be improved if you added more detail to the piece. Another thing I noticed is ...

    Sep 25, 2011
  • Fantasy Short Stories Re: Virus irruption (extended)

    Hi Twinkle, This was an interesting piece. As others have already pointed out the title is spelled wrong (that is unless it was for effect in which case its brilliant). ...

    Sep 25, 2011
  • Fanfiction Short Stories Re: Love is Blind- A Warriors Fanfic (Please help me out!)

    Hi catlover Another fan of the Warrior Cats series I see :) Anyway, onto the review. In this piece I couldn't find many if any gramatical errors or typos etc. ...

    Sep 25, 2011
  • Historical Fiction Short Stories Re: The Twin Towers

    Hi katngo73 This piece does seem quite short and more detail would make it alot more emotional, of course I would be sitting crying whilst trying to write it which ...

    Sep 25, 2011
  • Fantasy Short Stories Re: A Fire For Geno

    Hi McDayDreamer This piece starts by bringing the reader right into whats going on. It akes me feel like I want to read more because although I've read the first ...

    Sep 25, 2011
  • Fantasy Short Stories Re: The Lure

    Hi Jabber This was a great piece. I loved how you created such a contrast between Alluring and Mother Gothel. The end confused me at first although I got the ...

    Sep 25, 2011
  • Fantasy Novels Re: The Dragon Tamer - Chapter 5

    Please post more :D I wanna know what happens to Sre!

    Sep 21, 2011
  • Fantasy Novels Re: The Dragon Tamer - Chapter 4

    Just wondering about the use of the word siezure in this chapter. Did the old man have a heart attack, if he did then I think you need to find ...

    Sep 21, 2011
  • Fantasy Novels Re: The Dragon Tamer - Chapter 2

    I loved this, as it is another great chapter. I only spotted one typo which was at one point living area was spelled lviing area. Other than that I couldn't ...

    Sep 21, 2011
  • Action/Adventure Short Stories Re: Snake attack!

    OhmyGosh :( Poor mr snakey Sorry I have a soft spot for snakes. In fact no I loove snakes. I agree with the comments made above but couldn't think of ...

    Sep 15, 2011
  • General Fiction Short Stories Re: Unheard Screams- a 9/11 Memorial

    Hi I thought that this was a really amazing piece. It conveyed a lot of emotion. There isn't really much I can say that hasn't already been said except this: ...

    Sep 7, 2011
  • Archive Re: The War of the Mages (Started, accepting by PM)

    Lorna - Dragonskull "Look, Addy," I sighed. "I'm not in control of the powers that I have. . . I don't think that I can help you." "Oh . . ...

    Sep 7, 2011
  • Archive Re: The War of the Mages (Started, accepting by PM)

    Lorna - Dragonskull I frowned and shook my head slowly. "No I'm not sure you can get rid of it as such. I mean it's part of what you are ...

    Sep 6, 2011
  • Archive Re: The War of the Mages (Started, accepting by PM)

    Lorna - Dragonskull "Yeah," I smiled, not quite realising what had been said. "Wait, what was that about the fire?" "I want to know how to get rid of the ...

    Sep 5, 2011


Courage, my soul! Now learn to wield the weight of thine immortal shield...
— Andrew Marvell