annaseale1998

I think you should get rid of this: 'Perching on the roof, he resembled a mother eagle looking after her children.' You've already used a simile that starts with 'he ...

Haha, I basically agree with all of the other comments. It was seriously funny. But maybe too long? I thought you could have made it just as funny with a ...

The first two lines are really quite good. They give a sense of a different world. The definition also reminds me of a modern computer, when you search up the ...

Whoa. This is practically oozing with emotion. The layout doesn't really matter that much when you're reading. I think that maybe in paragraphs it helps the whole thing flow better, ...

So, grammar mistakes. *"Well, what's the date?" *Kylie asked, slightly confused. *Kylie was so full of happiness. This was impossible, she kept thinking! *and they set off for the ferry. ...

OK, so, I'll review! I'll start with grammar mistakes. *to the sun's cave. *said the moon, very offended. *and after a minute or two Also, you need to put a ...

I lay on my beach and stare into space, to watch the stars move into the shape of your face. This was my favourite stanza! It's brilliant! I guess I ...

OK, so, I'd correct the grammar, but that's already been done. You really need to take more care with it. So the main problem I have with this is that ...

We walk outside with our heads bowed low, against the November chill. They tell us to remember them, and remember them we will. We remember all those who fought, in ...

I love the start you've made! It flows brilliantly, there's no fault with the rhythm or rhyme at all. The only problem I have with it is that it's not ...

This is really good! But you're right, what is this? If I had to say, then maybe a prologue, or a preface, or epigraph? I struggled to keep up with ...

On Hallows' Eve, the nightmares creep, taking over the world of dreams. And on this night, beware your sleep, unless you can ignore the screams. Their black, hissing mouths will ...

This is actually quite good! I loved it from start to finish, but there are some things I would change. They were very happy. You should take away the 'very'. ...

It was originally the title that got me to read this, and I'm glad it did. It was just plain fun to read. The first line was good, made you ...

I feel as though this should be a two verse poem, because of where you put your rhymes. I think the whole thing may have flowed better if it were ...