ankhirke

It's a good beginning, though it could use a little more mystery/suspense. You can't rely on a prologue to give readers information vital to the story: many people don't even ...

Not bad for a rough at all! I just did a quick read through, so I'm going to tell you my first impressions. I may come back for a more ...

Allo, Sunny! I agree wholeheartedly with everything that Dommy65 has said; I think that dom has nitpicked your inconsistent details quite well, and so I won't waste your time going ...