alltimelow778

He told me he was done. “I’m done Alison! That’s it I’m finished!” Then he slammed the door. *SLAM* I guess it was my fault. I pulled the thread that ...

That is a beautiful piece of writing. I love your descriptions, they're really great. I also loved that you didn't stick to the traditional cliche of an angel, and that ...

thats so funny i literally just discovered spoon like two days ago and i love them! good choice. be back soon - justin nozuka

seem

Sorry this one's a little boring. Just need to get some information before I get back to the action. Hope you enjoy! ___________________________________________________________________________________

Alright, I'm going to skip the grammar stuff because I think it's been covered by the post above mine. Plot wise, I liked what you did with the continuation of ...

That was great! Description was good, characterization was good, diction was good, I loved it. I really didn't notice any grammar things, and I thought that as a hook it ...

Alright I'm going to start off with the boring grammar stuff. Night was falling over the badlands of Artaris, the last of the sun’s brilliance stained the land , deep ...

I broke it up a bit, I'm not sure if they could be smaller. Are there other places i should make a new paragraph?

Hot air cut through her lungs as Anna ran. She had been running flat out for about twenty minutes, and she knew that she wouldn’t make it back to her ...

I absolutely loved this. Your imagery is fantastic. I hope you're writing more? Let me know if/when you do. \ Just two little spelling errors. But now she feels nothing, ...

The trees were charcoaled bones against the gray sky. Arms contorted, bent at awkward angles, fingers protruding out into space, cutting into the sky, forever frozen. Anna’s clan had entered ...

Alright I made a bunch of edits and my thoughts are at the bottom. he quickly shone a flashlight beam around the shadowy basement, as was his ritual to do ...

I really loved this story. The hook is great, and I think you can really get somewhere with it. Your battle scene was perfect, I've always had trouble with writing ...

7/10 for the first three (