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alfagal

  • Fantasy Short Stories Re: Afterlife

    I really liked the idea and the plot of your story. "Once he was gone Peter approached the women." It should be 'woman'. “Grade A?” She asked faintly, more than ...

    Sep 25, 2011
  • General Fiction Short Stories Re: Im a good girl

    “Please help my mom.” I cried “Oh Dear! Not again. I’ll go there Raven. Stay here sweety.” Mrs Reed said to me. I was at her door and then she ...

    Sep 14, 2011
  • Narrative Poetry Re: She Is Unforgiven

    Sometimes your poem did not rhyme but still the use of your words make it good. What I dont like about your poem is its concept. Bit confusing apart from ...

    Sep 14, 2011
  • Romantic Short Stories Re: Ghostly Love

    Hi,Narnialover4ever1 Starting with 'I haunt her, I know I shouldn't. Being dead is boring.' makes me think that he is obsessive or something like that. You used a lot of ...

    Sep 14, 2011
  • Lyric Poetry Re: Winter Bloom

    Your poetry is simple yet not boring but I didn't like the use of 'You' in almost each and every line. Sounds repetitive. I like the general idea but you ...

    Sep 14, 2011


As if you were on fire from within. The moon lives in the lining of your skin.
— Pablo Neruda