airbear320

Hi! I think this is a good, intriguing start but it needs some work. How about we go through sentence by sentence, since this is pretty short? :) The heels ...

Hi everybody! So I'm entering this in a first page contest at this writers conference I'm going to. The deadline is Tuesday, May 25. So any and all comments/suggestions would ...

Hi Storyweaver! I'm back for more! :) So, this is good, but still needs a little bit of work. I'm just going to go through from the beginning and nitpick ...

Hi Storyweaver! I'm just going to do a quick review on this since I didn't find many mistakes. :) This was a great prologue! It had a good hook and ...

My mother has been singing this song all week! In the car, in the shower, making dinner. It never stops! lol

Hello Aussie! Right off just let me say "Great job!" I just loved this. :) There really isn't too much to critique. You have good grammar, your story seems solid. ...

Hello! This is very promising for your first story. I'll try and help you make the prologue shine a little more. :) First of all, grammar. My names Emma, and ...

Yay! I think these all sound like awesome changes that will make YWS even better. Happy New Years! :D

Chapter two! Any feedback is greatly appreciated. :D Chapter Two The next day, Saturday, I sat alone on the deck once again—except this time it was the middle of the ...

Umm . . . is that supposed to be an inspirational quote or a quote mocking faith? It kind of seems like the latter. So if that's what you were ...

Oooo! This is just fantastic! It gave me goose bumps. :) There were a few more nitpicks in this one than the first part, so let's get started, shall we? ...

Wow. That's really about all I can say! I loved this a lot! At first I was kind of confused by the different POV's, but by the end I liked ...

Chapter One “You can’t keep staying out until all hours of the morning, Edgar! What example are you setting for the children?” I shut my eyes tighter, pulling my faded ...

First of all, make sure your book is finished and as polished and ready to go as it can be. Have some friends read it and tell you things to ...

Okay. I agree with euro. This just didn't seem as good as part one. I was constantly confused with everything that was going on. You throw so much information at ...