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afamiliarsmile

  • Novel / Chapter » Romantic, General Re: unnamed - chapter 1

    Hello Lydia, Welcome to YWS! I really like where your story is going, but it needs some work. It's a little confusing in the beginning since we are thrown right ...

    Tue Jul 01, 2008 7:19 pm
  • Novel / Chapter » Romantic, General Re: Chapter 1?

    Hello Dalvor! Great start, you used a lot of imagery which really helped me understand the image you were trying to portray. I suppose everyone has pointed out the few ...

    Fri Jun 20, 2008 1:04 pm
  • Short Story » General, General Re: No title yet

    Hello kilroyCHIC89! Overall, I think you're a good writer, but this story need some work. I loved the theme(I'm a sucker for a good teen drama story!) and the way ...

    Sat Nov 24, 2007 11:05 pm
  • Short Story » General, General Re: Beautiful Disaster

    Ha, wow sounds just like my high school :D Anyways, great story! I'd love if you added more detail so we get a better idea to who the characters really ...

    Mon Oct 08, 2007 10:59 am
  • Novel / Chapter » General, General Re: watching eyes part one

    They were on there knees It should be their instead if there As power full as she acted As powerful as she acted... There were some grammar, typos, tense changes, ...

    Mon Jun 18, 2007 5:00 pm


The simple truth is that authors like making people squirm. If this weren't the case, all novels would be filled completely with cute bunnies having birthday parties.
— Brandon Sanderson, Alcatraz Versus the Evil Librarians