aeroman

I missed you :)

Be concise.

I see that plenty of people have given you praise already. But I just wanted to comment on one thing. Simplicity One of the qualities of your narrative that I ...

"God, it's hot out," Stew said, pushing a tree branch out of his way. James and I rolled our eyes and kept on pushing through brush. Opening lines are fine. ...

My first suggestion is to give us a location and time period. I read the whole piece through and guessed that it was the American Revolution. The key word there ...

First off, I would advise against doing a prologue. Most prologues don't turn out too well in my opinion. Next, get rid of your whole first paragraph and start with ...

Luke balled himself up in the cellar corner waiting for her [s]to[/s] return. H e [s]quickly shone a flashlight beam[/s] shone a flashlight around the shadowy basement[s], as was his ...

The entire piece has been edited, using the majority of everyone's suggestions and I feel it is a lot better than what it once was. Feel free to take a ...

1. The Kun Thing But if you need to explain it to me after I've read it than you haven't done your job as a writer. I believe you should ...

Hey, Ember! I promised you a critique and so here it is :) When I read it was about samurai, I was intrigued. I don't believe I've ever read anything ...

Thank-you both very much for your critiques! All of your comments have been taken into account and I donated points to each of you. The newly edited version of the ...

Thanks, Wigsta! I appreciate your critique. All of your suggestions are great! I will definitely incorporate them. I sent a donation your way, with a little message to go along ...

The man was suave, dressed in a black suit. He walked through the airport, navigating the current of teeming crowds. His wavy hair was cut short and structured as if ...

I really enjoyed the difference in perspective. I've read and heard many holocaust stories, from Night to Anne Frank , and this one was very interesting because it's not from ...

“Better start running”, he said with an evil grin patting the shrouded cage beside him. “You’ve got a thirty second head start before I let it out.” He added teasingly. ...