adambrooks

First things first, one thing you could do is slow down a little bit. Let the reader understand what is going. The part where he is escaping the bomb is ...

In the beginning I was confused because i wasn't ready for sudden action. There are parts of the story i get a little confused on, for example, when you have ...

I like this and i want to see more. The dialogue gets a little confusing at times. If you keep the action in the same paragraph as their line, for ...