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Re: haiku for the shipwrecked
I have a lot of criticism for the haiku . The thing that bothered me the most was the third haiku, seeing as I could make nothing out of it: ...
Aug 2, 2010 -
Re: Haiku (old and new)
That was accidental, thank you for pointing it out though.
Jul 16, 2010 -
Re: Haiku (old and new)
The twilight comes now The sun's bathed in golden drops Until night takes them The hiding sunset The air between day and night Beyond the oak tree The night sky ...
Jul 13, 2010 -
Re: Haiku 1 (English Syllables)
Hi, I would like to make one particular point clear: haiku in general don't have title . Now, on to the haiku: I rather like it, although, in my opinion ...
Jul 13, 2010 -
Re: Endure
This poem is the best poem I have ever read. It is very in its build, as well as in its descriptions. This poem is not something that can improve ...
Feb 9, 2010 -
Re: The Dishwasher's Bane
It's a very interesting poem, and its well written, the only problem I have with this poem is this: But such is the life of a dish washing girl, A ...
Jan 31, 2010 -
Re: Gone
Hi, your poem is very nice, but there were a couple of things that bothered me: 1) It was my choice to walk away, I knew what kind of consequences ...
Jan 31, 2010 -
Re: "Concealed"
Hi, this poem is rather interesting, touching, and it displays the emotions very nicely. There were a few problems, however: 1) and silently pray to God I have a problem ...
Jan 30, 2010 -
Re: through the dark
Hello, I liked the poem, grim as it was, it started organized and gradually the thoughts simply scattered, which in my opinion, gave the ending a feel of despair. Now ...
Jan 30, 2010 -
Re: Seasonal Rebirth
Hello, I don't have any real criticism, its simply too good to have any basic flaws I can see, but regarding what I have seen: 1).....Sorry, but there really is ...
Jan 30, 2010 -
Re: Life: A Game of Tag
Hi, your poem is very nice, describing life as a game of tag, who would have thought of that? Well, anyways, I had a few problems with it: 1) The ...
Jan 30, 2010 -
Re: Mistakes
Hi, quite frankly, I don't know what to make of this. It is very nice and yet feels lacking. Its a bit too straight forward, at least for me, and ...
Jan 30, 2010 -
Re: Today Was a Fairytale
Your poem is very nice in concept, and it is nice overall, but there are points in which you are too straight forward, such as: Today was a fairytale Every ...
Jan 30, 2010 -
Re: Winter is a Live Mind
Hello Rose, That was a very nice piece, and I can relate to it, at least to some extent. Now,criticism: 1) Try not to disturb the pictures and feelings you ...
Jan 28, 2010 -
Re: Those Crows
Hey man, this poem is one of the funniest things I've read in a long time. Now for tips: 1) You've rushed into the poem, you should take your time ...
Jan 28, 2010
