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It turns out you suffer the effects of too much alcohol even the day after. How does she seriously not know this already, even without experiencing it herself? She hasn't ...

The sky was so dark that night and there were no stars in sight. This rhymed accidentally. Also please consider that opening with a description of the sky can be ...

She was good at it to she was probably a black belt. Research run-on sentences (if you don’t already know) and fix this. Also this is contradictory because Jay said ...

I woke up in a pile of gravel and rubble. I just lay there for a minute or so, confused. I sat up and looked at my clothes, my jeans ...