Zebus

Next time you start a story, have a little more to get people hooked; because you didn't write much. There is some major tense issues, seems like some things are ...

You supposed to grace YWS with your poems one at a time so people crave them more. Way to ruin the TW take over whence :roll: There are some in ...

There is not enough here for it to be considered a "story." Don't get me wrong, what you have is fantastic but more needs to be given to the reader ...

:!: I NEED CRITIQUES!!!!! This is my first attempt at second person. So anybody and everybody, please tell me what you think!!!!! :!: :arrow: Small note: This has nothing to ...