ZanyPlebeian

Found Poem – Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man p. 79 Half Dublin was witless; circling round the neighbouring square, down sidestreets, a skeleton map in his mind. ...

Pain Come Softly Believe me like you did before the rain, like when with Night we sang the hymn of lost travail. Empirical intents attain the whims of times and ...

I liked this. Drop/change this, though: "I cry because I will miss you a lot." It's cliche and doesn't really contribute much to the emotional impact of the poem. Brian

Interesting seemed quite child-like to me, and I usually am not into that. You may have been going for that though. I guess the whole read I thought of monsters ...

In my opinion, there is no such thing as too much dialogue. I feel I could read a novel with 98% dialogue and love it. Some of my favorite authors ...

Great poem!! I enjoyed every line of it. One thing though, never present a negative image of yourself before the poem, or even after; if you are that concerned with ...

Mmmm... :) This poem made me happy just experiencing it. Very, very excellent piece of writing. Please, continue doing what you're doing. It's working. Brian EDIT: Oh, one thing, though. ...

Ah! I enjoyed this...I will admit that it could have been expressed better, but the thing I liked was the truly original subject of the poem. Honestly never read anything ...

A beautiful piece and a very enjoying read. The only nitpicks I have: You turn you head away Shamed to see me Abashed Ashamed And toss me aside with disgust, ...

Drugged Diatribe Canto I Proud beneath colorful and drab delusions that beckon me from the non-truth that always seems to grow, fungally, on my mind. Harbinger! Harbinger! My mind shouts ...

Ring Lost on Road I look out and see it’s not dark yet; the patched roads shimmer in falling drizzle afternoon. A single piece of silver falls from my hand ...

I haven't read anything of your before, but this is a nice effort. I can underdstand what you are saying, but I think it can be said better. I like ...

It's a difficult poem to read...certain things like "Swallowing out ribbons" are very surreal. You may have been going for that, but I couldn't find much to identify with in ...

I agree with the consensus on "lost my hand like it’s not been bothered me when I wrote it but I left it in just because I like putting up ...

I agree...this is better than the little of what of yours I've read in the past. I would suggest trying to take some new topics and attempt writing about them--often, ...