ZanyPlebeian

Hmm...unbanned I see! Well, all I can say is that I have an ampersand fetish and I count two of them in your poem, so it's okay by me! :D ...

Yes, I decided I hate the lyrics. (well, love the lyrics but not in the poem.) Insomnia does some crazy things to the mind. :P I edited them out.

Deborah is one of the Judges in the old testament of the Bible.

Deborah Come now and judge me, like Deborah before the rain; shadows congregate between us in the hole that separates justice from the just. A fire is lit and burns ...

Ramona Revised To know would be too easy for us. Crying is often spoken too soon; below the skin of anguish lies the flesh of infinite release. The streets of ...

There were a few bumpy spots...but I think those can be worked over. Some of the rhyme is just obviously put where it is just so it can rhyme, and ...

I'll basically agree with the above posters. It was a beautiful piece and an enjoyable read. :) Brian

He was a day-gazer Articulate, motivated, past [I'm not sure if this is supposed to be connected to the next line or not...] The rush of air on wintry mornings ...

I felt the rhyming was really forced... Also, I didn't feel the subject matter was new or exciting and it didn't speak to me too much. The repetition in the ...

Well, I must say I liked the poem. BUT I didn't like the rhyming scheme...if you could have said the same thing without rhyme, I would be much happier with ...

It's always a good rule to let a poem speak for itself, because you won't always have the chance to explain it to your reader.

The images you presented me in this poem were good. The only problem I can see is that all it consists of are somewhat abstract images suspended in a timeless, ...

Reminds me of much of my life...which is why I liked it. The words fit together well enough, though I think maybe they could have been expanded upon a bit. ...

Beautiful and refreshing. Some small problems: "Keep beaming, knowing your on top" should be you're . "He lip-folds me into corners Lashing, cat-like (tire like)" I guess I just don't ...

Charon’s Mis-metered Limerick upon reflecting on the peculiar state of mind created by 2 1/2 hours of sleep My silence of mind is lost, now, dropped into pools of phonographs ...