Writersdomain

I wouldn't exactly call it an action story, but I didn't know where else it would fit. The main point of the story is in the last paragraph so this ...

Awesome hook at the beginning and I can see the plot forming. There were a just few things I thought I should point out... She was running, but she didn’t ...

This sounds like the beginning of the story, so you don't need to explain the entire storyline in this, but hints at the storyline would do this piece some good. ...

If you put it in stanzas, it would be a lot easier to critique and I would gladly do it, but for now, I can only offer a few suggestions ...

Wow, now that I see the picture, I'd say your original word, surround, would work better. I never imagined the picture looking like that!

This is great. With your good choice of words and my love for clarinets combined, I loved this. Your comparison of the man's smile and the ligature is really neat ...

This has some really powerful, haunting parts which I really liked, but it also had some parts I think need work. Really very beautiful though! Very nice work, Chandni! Caught ...

I must say I agree with Roland and what he said, but besides that, I did have a few suggestions... I am shielded by darkness I grow upon the fears ...

^ is holding a piggy! :wink: Yay!

This was very creative and elegant as PsyLynx mentioned. As you warned, it was a bit off-rhythm, but I believe that can be fixed. I feel so cold and lifeless ...

I agree with Once Upon a Dream. The beginning story part was a good lead into he last part, but in the last part, the powerful emotions you were leading ...

^ has both a dragon and lion in her avatar...

Light in the Clouds Anger, hurt, hatred, pain Bitterness, vengeance, mocking rain Sorrow, betrayal, pitiless tears And now with this love I begin to fear Through the thunder and rain ...

Very sad and very beautiful. I loved your relation between the flower and the girl nicely done

Very cute poem. I loved how the title related to it.