Writersdomain

I really enjoyed reading this poem. As TBR stated, it had a nice tune, but I do think it needs some improvement... and that's why I'm here. :wink: Watching days ...

I really liked your metaphor of being on the boat of love and how the storm seems so split you apart, but you are still loved. It was so true ...

As said above, the lack of rhythm really bothered me. Every time I thought I had finally pinpointed your rhythm, you changed it. At the beginning, it seemed you were ...

Vocabulary was beautiful. Word choice amazing. Keep using those gorgeous words of yours! I had just a few suggestions: halls of misery slowly crumbling hiding secrets within the layers I ...

gone for the weekend to camp... by everyone

This was really well-done. Your style of writing brings it to life, animates the character's actions. Very well-written and some really awesome dialogue. 'smarter-than-thou' tone... I loved that part.

I really loved how it flowed and your rhyming was very beautiful. I loved your choice of words, very meaningful and powerful, especially since I'm used to pet peeving about ...

I must agree with timjim. The point is clear, yes, almost too blatantly clear. You have an idea here and if you want to write a poem about, you do ...

I liked your last line and the basic message of this poem, but a lot of the rhythms seemed off and there was some forced rhyming. I agree with randy ...

^ is stuck in a medieval portrait... being stuck sounds dangerous

I found this very interesting. A little confusing at times, but good altogether. I only noticed a few small things: Tracing their way to depression end A place of marshmallow ...

Thanks so much, Snoink. I agree with you on the 1st paragraph; thanks for helping me clear that up. You sounded confused on the last scene. Klaid isn't the criminal, ...

I agree with xanthan gum that this poem could use some more length to demonstrate the feeling more powerfully, or even better than more words, more meaningful words that can ...

I agree with many of the above. This was beautiful overall. With you it’s my time to be free, To touch, To learn, To see who’s the real me, Cause ...

Thanks, The Silent Aviator. Is there any section or paragraph where the sentences are especially wordy or do you just mean sentences in general?