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Re: May I Have This Dance
:shock: Wow - that was beautiful! I have nothing negative to say about it. Your metaphors are great, the words flow perfectly... :)
May 10, 2008 -
Re: The Bearer - Chapter 1
Good-day! Well, I suppose I'll go straight to the things that, in my opinion, perhaps could use some editing.... The water splashed across her face and into her mouth. She ...
Apr 26, 2008 -
Re: Courage's Courageous Adventure (edited)
Very good! This piece has lots of natural current and flow to it, which is often hard to achieve. There were a few parts that could perhaps be improved. At ...
Apr 9, 2008 -
Re: The Daughter of the Sun and the Son of the Moon
Beautiful! This is a lovely fairytale. Short, sweet, and yet with a lingering hold upon the reader's mind. My suggestions for bettering it are as follows: Eliminate the two 'yes's ...
Mar 4, 2008 -
Re: The book
This is a nice, imaginative piece! There were a few mistakes which I think the other posters ( :lol: ) did not address. -Eventually is spelled with an a after ...
Mar 4, 2008 -
Re: Of life and death.
Well, it's good, that's for sure - it shows that lots of thought has gone into it. You gave a good picture of what the mind of a truth-seeker looks ...
Mar 3, 2008 -
Re: Diary of a Villain: Prologue Part 1
This is really good! Even though it might have seemed to start off slow, you don't want to throw an onslaught of action to the reader in the first two ...
Mar 3, 2008 -
Re: The Stitching
Well, I'm not sure I have the courage to review your piece. It's just too magnificent. It's way above my level, and so I don't know how I could critique ...
Mar 2, 2008
