VousEsEtonnant

i would change absolutly nothing. wich is upsetting, because now i have nothing to say. haha. it really is great. ive always been thinking about things likethis, and you know ...

true, we all have barriers. i kinda disagree with your overall theme, but brilliant job anyways! i would only take out the ---

that was really good.. and i think i like falling better. what are the plastic cans exactly? so, lemme think... this poem is like in the artic or something? thats ...

*opens mouth, then stops* nope, he said that. *thinks, and begins to critique again, but pauses* what he hell, she already covered that!!! Well, helpful, here is my advice; follow ...

My only problem with this is when you transition from jamie to cassandra. I got SO confused. And what about this mick person? I smell intruder. She seems too wekcoming. ...

It seems in each chapter so far, all i find is a stumbling sentence. I found her at first before first period Take out "at first" deffinatly. But otherwise awesome. ...

You had noob in here? Hahah. Well, I have but one loneome nitpick. the barbie sounded as much like a barbie as she looked. this line made me stumble. Maybe ...

All you'de have to do is ask me, And I'de shatter my world for you. You've got me locked in chains of love, And I can't seem to break through. ...

*thumbs up*

True to the fullest power, matt. But remember this; When you are all alone, crying, broken, and reduced to nothing, it is our experiences that drive us to help you ...

Your rhythm makes each sentence, each thought fragment, seem more important, more profound and deliberate. I like that about this. true, some of it is cliche, but do we not ...

My favorite stanza is where you talk about how she sprouted her wings too soon. This is a really good poem. When i read this i noticed you started out ...

Thnks guys! And to all of you, the choppiness was intentional. When I explain difficult thing, I pause alot and stuff. I broke the lines so you could hear my ...

This is really nice. Actually, nice doesnt quite fit there. Its ensnaring, confusing, exilerating. It feels like falling through words. You, sir, have alot of dark in your heart. I ...

Hehehehe this is great byou feally are pretty good at rhyme. Thats my favorite form actually. This is really really good, but (maybe im just stupid) what specificly is this ...