Vison

Just a small addition. In the future, since this is a message-board and they don't let you indent (they also delete extra spaces...), could you put a line in-between each ...

You spelled your chapter title wrong, and that's the only other structural nitpick I have. About your sister and the like, was that sentence supposed to mean they don't want ...

The only mistake I see structurally is near the very beginning, 'Two days they have been sitting upstairs , laying in my room unopened' Over all, I liked it, the ...

It read almost like a prologue exposition, to me. That last paragraph though didn't fit well with the almost semi-omnipotent third person POV I got from the first three. I ...