Ventomology

Ooh! Special powers! That's always exciting. I hope the other characters have good reactions when they hear about that. Anyways, some notes: I feel sometimes like the amount of detail ...

Whoa! Such a cliff hanger! I really enjoyed this one. It has a nice length, with lots of details and exposition-perfect for an opening chapter-but still with plenty of action. ...

Your hooker deserves an A++! It's so mysterious! Now to brass tacks: The premise is intriguing, but it needs a little more oomf to really stand out. Describe what Thorn ...

Wow! The idea is very exciting! I will remind you to start a new paragraph whenever someone begins speaking, and there were a few spots where I think a comma ...