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Re: The Last Seasons (Chapter 4 snippet)
I knew it was coming, but I swear I almost choked! Andrew has some issues... Anyways, I have some nitpicks for you: Andrew gestured with hands, which were beside his ...
Dec 2, 2014 -
Re: Chasing Light: Chapter Two
I'm back! And... also not sure what to say. I think I know why you're disappointed with the chapter though. There's almost no real action. Once you got through Mr. ...
Dec 1, 2014 -
Re: Blood Haven: Chapter 4
Hallo! Sorry it's been so long since I reviewed your work. I never seem to find it until it's several chapters in. Now, onto the review! I am slightly confused ...
Nov 30, 2014 -
Re: The Last Seasons (Chapter 3)
I'm back! This part was stunning! A nice addition to what you've written before. However, there are a few issues. 1. The character's voices don't match the tone of your ...
Nov 30, 2014 -
Re: The Last Seasons (Intro and Chapter 1)
What a dream! I admit freely that it is not one I would ever want to have, however important and symbolic it will be. It's all so scary... Anyway, I'm ...
Nov 30, 2014 -
Re: The Last Seasons Chapter 2
Heya! Happy Review Day! Now then, what a chapter! I'm not sure if all of your work is this long, but you may want to break things up in the ...
Nov 29, 2014 -
Re: Chasing Light: Chapter One
Heya! First of all, welcome to YWS! Now, I hate to say it, but I'm rather unfamiliar with marching bands. I've been in band for years now, but the fact ...
Nov 21, 2014 -
Re: So It Begins... (Chapter 1)
Hello there! Mostly, I agree with what Cricket has already stated (and she took most of the nitpicks too... Leave some for the rest of us, Cricket!), so this review ...
Nov 20, 2014 -
Re: A Certain Magician - Chapter Two (Part 2/2)
Heya! I'm back! Anyways, just to make sure, you did read this to yourself first, right? There were a few things that stuck out to me as being a bit ...
Nov 12, 2014 -
Re: A Certain Magician - Chapter Two (Part 1/2)
Yo! How's life? Anyhow, nice addition to the story! I'm not sure where you're going quite yet, but it's still exciting. Now then, some nitpicks: Personally, I think you used ...
Nov 11, 2014 -
Re: A Certain Magician - Chapter One (Part 3/3)
Goodness gracious! What a whirlwind of action! I love it! I'm afraid I don't have much for you; you have an excellent hand for action. But I do have a ...
Nov 4, 2014 -
Re: A Certain Magician - Chapter One (Part 1/3)
Yo! Apologies for not seeing this one before I got to part 2. Anyhow, on with the show: I'm not sure putting in a chart of Zack's grades was a ...
Nov 3, 2014 -
Re: A Certain Magician - Chapter One (Part 2/3)
Heya! Nice addition! Anyhow, let's get on with the review. First thing: You really don't need to put that little dialogue note at the beginning of each installment. Most people ...
Nov 3, 2014 -
Re: A Certain Magician - Prologue
Yo! First off, welcome to YWS! I look forward to seeing you around, and definitely where you end up taking this piece. It's fabulous! However, before I start gushing, let's ...
Oct 31, 2014 -
Re: Elementary (Chapter 4: Blue Team)
Yo! Sorry I haven't reviewed this part. I don't know why I never saw it. Anyways, some general comments: There are a few typos, like maybe five? They are mostly ...
Oct 12, 2014
