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Buggiedude2340

  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, Narrative Re: Chapter 11.1 (When The Moons Come)

    Yo. I'm a little bit confused by Eremia fainting again, but I'll let that slide. This whole scene feels like the kind of thing that will be quickly explained. Technical ...

    Sat Jan 06, 2018 4:58 pm
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, Narrative Re: Chapter 10.3

    Yo! I finally pulled myself out of the back-to-school blues, and here I am to review. Technical Comments: 1. You probably don't want to open the section with the word ...

    Sat Jan 06, 2018 6:50 am
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, Action / Adventure Re: Umbrella Spells:Chapter Two

    Wow okay. So the name Peter has definitely popped up before, and that's a little concerning. But I'll get back to that, I guess. Technical Comments: 1. Since this is ...

    Sat Jan 06, 2018 3:10 am
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, Action / Adventure Re: The Mage and the Immortal Chapter 13

    Shame that this stuff is sitting in the GR. Let's go! Technical Comments: 1. I should have mentioned this, but you have some pretty solid dialogue! There's good diversity in ...

    Sat Dec 30, 2017 11:50 pm
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, Action / Adventure Re: The Mage and The Immortal Chapter 12

    Hello there! I'm back! Let's cut to the chase, yeah? Technical Comments: 1. I think you could benefit from a little more diversity of sentence length. There were times during ...

    Sat Dec 30, 2017 11:29 pm
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, Action / Adventure Re: The Mage and The Immortal Chapter 11

    Heya! This is Buggie. I'm sorry I haven't read the rest of your story here, but I hope I can help a bit regardless. Technical Comments: 1. So you mention ...

    Sat Dec 30, 2017 11:07 pm
  • Novel / Chapter » Realistic, Teen Fiction Re: Sidewalk Kid -- Chapter 1 -- The Biggest Lie

    Heya! It's pretty cool to see a novel floating around with some sports! I actually used to play basketball, but I'm pretty short and can't catch rebounds, so I had ...

    Sat Dec 30, 2017 7:00 am
  • Novel / Chapter » Dramatic, Romantic Re: How to Kill What Can't Grow - INTRO + CH1

    Hello! This was an interesting read. The 'you' and 'I' thing isn't something I tend to see in long-format literature, so I was intrigued. Technical Comments: It looks like LMAuthor ...

    Sat Dec 30, 2017 6:22 am
  • Novel / Chapter » General, Satire Re: Broad Endings

    Hello and happy Review Day! I'll just jump right in, if that's all right. So, I notice that this is listed as satire, but while I know which cliche you're ...

    Sat Dec 30, 2017 4:52 am
  • Novel / Chapter » Action / Adventure, Science Fiction Re: Blue Powder Chapter 1.3

    Hello! I have returned. Let's just nose dive right in? Technical Comments: 1. Again, a lot of telling here. I know it's a continuation of the worldbuilding you had going ...

    Sat Dec 30, 2017 3:38 am
  • Poetry » Dramatic, Narrative Re: thoughts well-worn

    Hello! I don't review poetry all that often, but hopefully I'll spout out at least one or two helpful things. Nitpicks: 1. I find it odd that in the first ...

    Sat Dec 30, 2017 2:18 am
  • Novel / Chapter » Action / Adventure, Science Fiction Re: Blue Powder Chapter 1.2

    Oof, sorry I didn't get to this sooner! I was caught up in exams, and then winter festivities, and then I saw 1.3 in the Green Room and remembered to ...

    Sat Dec 30, 2017 1:57 am
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, Action / Adventure Re: Umbrella Spells:Chapter One

    Oh, but past midnight is the best time for heart-to-hearts. Silly Max. Happy review day, ellasnotebook! Let's get down to business, shall we? Technical Comments: 1. Ugh I love indentation. ...

    Sat Dec 30, 2017 1:32 am
  • Poetry » Dramatic, Fantasy Re: Had You Been an Adonis

    Hey there Radrook! I don't review poetry a whole lot, but I'm aiming for blue star #1, and the title of this piece totally grabbed my attention. I hope I ...

    Sat Dec 30, 2017 12:55 am
  • Novel / Chapter » Action / Adventure, Fantasy Re: Thunderfleece Ch-1 – Padlocked Pandemonium

    To be fair to Twynk, herbivorous teeth are in fact designed for crushing. Carnivorous teeth are designed for tearing. I've changed the review scheme a little bit since I last ...

    Sat Dec 30, 2017 12:32 am


It's like being in love, discovering your best friend.
— Elizabeth Wein, Code Name Verity