Vasticity

Welcome to YWS, and 2nd, I like your story. You have a very intuitive writing style, and you really bring your readers into the story. At least you did to ...

RATE YOUR STORIES, PLEASE, SOME OF US ARE YOUNG!

In no order whatsoever, Seventh Son The Graveyard book Coraline The House of Dies Drear I don't know if Graphic novels count, but if they do, Watchmen 8)

Good Job! You certainly put your rhymes into place. But.... some of them didn't rhyme....:evil: but no big deal. This is certainly a good script, although, I don't really feel ...

First off, this is a great story, I like your story telling ability. At first I was a liiiiitle confused, but you started revealing the story as the writing went ...

Well done! You paint a picture with your writing, and I'm anxious to read the next chapters. I only have two suggestions. A: Make it longer, because chapters usually seem ...

I'm going to review what I can because there's not really a whole lot to review. First off, when you're writing scripts, you need to use good grammar, and punctuations. ...

Well you certainly paint a picture. Also, most of the writing is actually true, so I was quite pleased with your work here. Way to go, and keep writing! :D

I have an issue with the constant double entendres in this story, but it's obviously made to be a joke. So... my only advice is, try to make it actually ...