Vasticity

Strange and Interesting premise. This is an original idea, wrapped up with good description, excitement, tension, and realistic ideas. Make it longer!!! Keep on writing! :mrgreen:

Liked it! If you could specify who's talking when, that would be nice, though. Also, 'your heart's broken' is the line you were looking for at the end, just like ...

Due to a drop in actors, I had to rewrite. Two characters have been taken from the film. Scavengers (Scene Nine) (Norman and Calvin put on their boots. After they ...

Due to a drop in actors, I had to rewrite. Three characters have been taken from the film. Scavengers (Scene Eight) (We fade to an empty patch of gravel. A ...

You sound really interesting! Welcome to YWS! Check this out for general rules: For rules about a specific literary forum, refer to the topic posted by NATE at the beginning ...

hello. What you're writing is safe here. I doubt any 13 to 21 year-olds would steal your novel. Anyway, Welcome to YWS. For general rules about the site, check this ...

Hello. I would enjoy having a party. But not today. For general rules, refer to this: Also, if you want rules to specific forum, look at the topic posted by ...

Wow. Very well done. An interesting plot and premise, good dialogue, and descriptions. There's only one problem that I can even see, even though you do it numerous times. We’ve ...

Let me just get started. I can feel the wind’s blowing all over the place It should be winds. Summer breeze and sunny sunshine We don't need that last part. ...

Don't steal jokes from Calvin and Hobbes... that's just rude. :evil:

The Obscured (Scene two) (Eclipse walks towards the thicket of trees, stops, and looks around for a few moments) ECLIPSE: Hello? Mist? Miasma? Oh, crap. (Eclipse pulls a cell-phone from ...

This is my last try on The Obscured, and then I'm giving up. THE OBSCURED (Scene One) (Open to binary code, moving across the screen. The camera zooms in, and ...

This is a very funny, and true, piece of work. I like every bit of it, and I hate to be the guy who does the serious review, :x but ...

Cres, if you had looked down a tiny bit more, you would've seen this:

Hello there. Your story has potential, but you make strange choices in formatting. For example, when you open a how-to-write book, one of the first things they say is, don't ...