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Hi cardsfan! On the fateful day of her execution, Hannah Avery only had one more chance. Having had a good relationship with the jailer before her detainment, she managed to ...

Hi again Dude! I’m really glad you’ve found my comments helpful! I worry that I’m being too harsh and people get put off, but at the same time I do ...

Hi Jalmoc! Kaiden ducked as an arrow whizzed past his head, missing his pointed ear by only centimeters. He was starting to think that they were targeting him because he ...

Hello oNegativeZero! What are you made of stone, steel, a sponge for no emotion? What? How can you not cry after seeing that movie? I don't know I just... C’mon ...

Hi again! Your spacing is wrong; you need to leave a line between each paragraph and each line of dialogue. Wrong: “Who are you?” said a deep voice from behind ...

Hey Schnaps! Sorry this took a while to get to, and now it’s here it’s kindavery picky. If you’d rather have an overall viewpoint rather than a going-through-and-picking-out then do ...

Hi Dude! I’m so sorry it’s taken so long to get to this. Juliana woke up in the middle of the night with her body trembling from a nightmare about ...

Hello! First off—spacing. You need to leave a line between each paragraph and between each line of dialogue. Also start a new paragraph when someone new starts talking. So instead ...

Hi Dude! Apologies for lateness. >_< However, I notice you haven’t done any reviews yourself. Reviewing really is crucial—not only does it help with one’s own writing, but it helps ...

OMG HAI AGAIN The cool floor made chills crawl up her spine like little spiders under her skin. There’s something about this that doesn’t really sound right. Using “little” detracts ...

OMG SCISSORS HAI The headache was still present but not as relentless as before but the harsh scent of pine was teasing her nostrils and prodding her brain. Buts are ...

Hello ShadowVyper! Sorry it took me a while to get to this—I had a pig of an essay. I watch a Robin glide past me lazily, and then gracefully drop ...

(This was going on your Wall but then it turned into a baby essay. >_< ) Hey Dude! I'm not sure what the general opinion on prologues is, but I ...

Hi Dude! Sorry it’s taken me so long to get to this. >_< For your first try at writing fiction, this is pretty good! You've got a strong storyline, and ...

Hello again! Sorry it took me a while to get to both parts; I am a terrible person. >_< Him and Booker were scrapping on the ground then and he ...