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Interesting, and I found the ending funny. :D But, if this is poetry, it ought to go more like a poem. Just telling a story and dividing it up into ...

I don't get it.

I like the bit about Princess Layer :lol: but you really must add punctuation, capitals, put this out more clearer and spellcheck it. Otherwise people critiquing this are gonna come ...

Good points, Snoink! I personally like creating characters best. :) And I like flawed characters. The first characters I ever did were unmitigated Mary-Sues, and looking back on them...*shudders* Stil

Maybe you could have the characters say things which show some of the history, and then add an explanation afterwards? Or you could use devices like story-telling. I don't know ...

Ignore this thing's horrendousity, it'll be getting a rewrite some time soon. 8)

Constantine was the one who was supposed to have seen a cross in the sky before a major battle, right? :roll: Crazy man. Power went to his head. :wink:

Garbage?! Okay, maybe a few bits of it were a bit random; like the bit on the cannibal island doesn't do much for the plot, but hey? Who cares? Not ...

Coo! Chilling! I haven't read the other reviews, so scuse me if I repeat what others have said. His voice was smooth as it escaped from his lips. That sentance ...

Hokey! I think I've got a better idea now. Thanks ever so much, Crysi for your helpful comments! :D :D I'll snowflake this and see if it turns out any ...

Very good! I know that seems to be my standard comment, but it is good. The whole story is well written, and your style is very easy to read. The ...

This was great! The ending was very well written, and the last sentances: “You won’t take me,” he whispered, and a single tear ran down his face as he pulled ...

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WUTHERING HEIGHTS!! Oh, that book is dreadful, and I have to study it for my GCSE's. :x :evil: All the Brontes' books are stupid. I've only read said WH, but ...

I thought that this was good. :) It has a lot behind it, and the words you use are effective: Without you, I’m lost Treading on dark, rocky paths Stumbling ...