Twit

Hmcreamcomplane. Sounds nice! :D Very pretty. -ST

What's E'in Sof mean? Something Egyptian? I have yet to know what makes a good poem myself, as I cannot write stuff that seems to follow those guidelines. Thus, I ...

**Eeeh, I've missed such a lot! I'm loosing track of everyone here!** Robyn breathed a huge sigh of relief as Sunclaw whirled away from the grounds and up into the ...

"Is that more of your blonde sense talking?" I inquired. Kira shrugged and stalked ahead. I followed her, trailing Siren and Brucken. When I caught up with her, she turned ...

Poof! Romance, et al. Where is this going to go zigackerly? As in, is there going to be Sequels 1, 2, 3 and 4? -ST

"You haven't been away , Tanny-boy. Bananas." ~The Raven

"Yay! Shakespeare! I do love a bit of Shakey. I'd say I was the third, if any. I'm not great, so perhaps it still has to be thrust upon me." ...

8/10 Pretty good. Hmwellcomplane.

Oh, you read Matthew Reilly's books? No wonder this is fast then, his books zip right past you! Not that his style isn't good, it is, excepting his annoying use ...

Continuity here - in a previous chapter, you say Elyn is a child, then you say he is a young man, and now you say he's a kid again. Make ...

Yep, you strike again, with a good chappie, but you're still missing a few capitals. :) -Twit

OK, OK, this is good! Taking a deep breath, she blinked her eyes open. Wrong word to use. Just say: she opened her eyes. Elyn avioded her gaze That should ...

Plot thickens and all that jazz. You need to space this out with lines between paragraphs and lines of dialogue. And, as Rodent said, some of the dialogue was a ...

There's a few missing capitals, and you need to space out the dialogue in the last part. I like Elyn. :wink: -Twit

Nice! Good writing the way Tamia felt numb and was doing things on automatic. A few things leapt out tho: you don't mention what equipment she had at all; I ...