Twit

Well, Inky said all I wanted to. :D The thing is that you're lacking depth. Put in details, describe what's happening! You simply tell us that Na-thingyummy and her friend ...

It's nice. :) Sometimes the rhyming (RHYMING!! YES!!) *ahem*, sometimes the rhyming was a bit forced, like "Seagulls cackling like wild". I know you put it in to make the ...

Very pretty!

Very nice! You put a familiar imgae - the heartstrings - down in an unusual way, and the "broken melody" and "a chord to let me know what you're thinking" ...

Aw, this sad, and it brings up a good point. Heros don't always survive. And with Boy, that makes him even more heroic. I like the fact that Boy and ...

You need to tweak your grammer a bit, putting commas inside quote marks and all. But apart from that, I can't give you constructive advice. I can only say that ...

Chapter Five: Dark and Rainbow The sunny weather broke the next day; clouds hung in the sky like dirty, grey hankerchiefs filled with tears of rain. The others were busy ...

Can I join?

Hi Erin! Cool name, reminds me of one of my favourite books. :D Hope you enjoy YWS (of course you will :wink: ) and post lots of your stuff on ...

"Here, take the money. Don't spend it all on lollipops." ~The Raven "Neither." *beats up opponent* ~Fal. "Don't have any money. You can search me, sure. You won't find anything." ...

Nah, never liked her stuff AT ALL.

Yeseth, the rhymeth schemeth was distractingeth, aseth waseth the archaiceth languageth. ("Am I righteth in thinketh that thou art the Counteth Duckula of Transylvania-eth?") But nixeth thateth, and t

*shrugs* "Wake up wet, I suppose." ~Rohsair "Growl, turn over and lie awake planning how to do the same to you." ~The Raven "Get angry. Snap at you not to ...

Well, thanx for reading it. :D A lot of the actual action writing was helped a lot by the film Young Winston ; you seen it? The thing is that ...

Woo-hoo, I'm really enjoying this!!! Nothin' to correct...rats, make at least a few mistakes, or I can't correct anything!! :evil: And, frankly, the thought of Cloasia being...ahem...*mutters*...never