Twit

*coughcough* I'm another of those idiots who has no business in the poetry section. I found this well written, but confusing. Too ambiguous, but your style's good. Try something less ...

Yeah, is there gonna be more of this? Looks like you could expand this to make one good story. :)

"In my society, I suppose it would be the half-breeds. The hybrids. They're half-elven, and viewed as freaks and animals. And with the popular view in mind, I think they're ...

More of your stuff, JC. :) And this looks good, altho, romance..... Still, good!

Cleaning

*gulps* Why didn't I read this before? You don't make enough of Danteel in the Dialogue Game, Gyr. This is brilliant - as good as Gypsie Eyes , and possibly ...

Good..... But it needs to be more definate! Who *is* this bloke who's talking? Someone who's thoughtful and wise and who has seen a lot of things and a lot ...

*coughcough* This subject makes me get up in arms, and.... well, anyway... It was very well and very emotionally written. Nice description and all, and I liked the way you ...

Your dialogue's good, but your grammer and punctuation and all is shaky. I can't do a nitpick right now, but you should be able to see them yourself if you ...

Weird! In a good kind of way. :) Apart from the appalling "brung" there didn't seem to be anything that needs correction. :)

Hm, arite. I can't say the first verse is very flattering, and who's Harold with the purple crayon?

So SHORT!!! And the verdict's next... Oh the suspense!!

Ook, so Ortega touched at last? Pff, anyway, great chapter, and there were just a few things I noted: Jamie drove herself to court that day , Tammy had arrived ...

I'd like to know more about the story...who "he" was, and why they killed that man and all. Maybe it's obvious and I'm just being thickety thickman from thicktown, thickania? ...

"We-el... Sethy just did a quantum leap, Tammy and Elly arrived with peaches, and Dame is annoyed with Zephyr." ~The Raven "I haven't been saying anything much!" ~Sathí *muttering* "That ...