Twit

Inky's said everything needful. :roll: Should I be happy or annoyed at that, Inkster? :wink: Anyways, I'd just point out that you don't seem to be taking comments on board. ...

Deerahmah! :mrgreen: “You know were going to die here, right?” Jhere looked at Khor through the haze of the rain. Were = we're “ Yea . I know,” replied Khor ...

*blinks* Man, her parents aren't very nice, but then, she isn't being very reasonable about the move either. Just a move, right? Still, good writing, and ta for PMing me. ...

"Red fruit. *shrugs* Goes with sugar and cream." ~The Raven "Oh the sweetness! One of the finest fruits whose roots ever graced the earth's soil!" ~Rohsair "Um... have I tried ...

Nazi-Grammer Dude Here. :razz: Afterwards he strapped Melden to his waist and looked at his mirror reflection. He focused on his faint shadow and poured his magical energy into it. ...

Tha's had a dubble nit pick, so I'll just say as how this was good, but could be made even better by an edit. Just incorparate all of Sword's and ...

Chapter Two: Baby Kumanne's tent was the same as any other Bedu's , but as I rarely saw the inside of the others tents, there was enough in Kumanne's to ...

Vogon's View: Pretty good. I liked the repetition of "chasing the white dragon", it sounds real cool and mystical. :D

Yep, what Imelda said. I always write in first person, so I know my MCs very intimately. Keep them in your head, talk to them, imagine how they would react ...

Don't tune it down too much and be patronizing - everyone's gotta learn to take critiscm. But *always* say what was good about the piece.

Very good! Very well written, and...tense!! One thing: Tamia bought a bowl, and moved over to the cleanest table she could find. It was tastless, but it was hot and ...

Good! Alainna made some good points, so I'll just say as how I liked it. :)

Like it once more! Sorry I can't crit it more thoroughly, but there's nothing to point out! :D That makes it a compliment if you look at it sideways. :wink: ...

Hm, not bad. :) You need to review AT LEAST twice before you post any stuff of your own, though!! On the story... if Emily's never shown any talent for ...

Christian doesn't equal priest. Catholic, perhaps? Anyway, "Kain" is spelt "Cain". It would be nice for a story to portray a religious person as just a person - not a ...