Twit

off topic, and im not joining in, but everytime i see a new post for this, i think of "The Plague Dogs". most distracting, tiz.

I've gotten out of touch with this, and thanks to the bug, I can't find the other bits in your 'folio. :mad: Your actual writing is better here than in ...

The fourth is cute, and the one with long black hair is mysterious-looking. The first two look like a Japanese Manga cartoon with the big eyes and all. They're nice, ...

Sounds good, and I'd read on to read find out about the princess and this entertainer and Nasser. And his disciples asked him, saying, Master, who did sin, this man, ...

Well, if this was in a book, a chapter this long would be fine, but on here, it don't half look intimidating. The town's got a "K" name as well. ...

Oh, freaky. :mrgreen: Very freaky. I found this bit odd, though: What was Tommy doing there? And who was holding him?..... The thing holding Tommy shifted him to one arm ...

Phew, I don't have to do grammer. It gives me a headache. The thing I'd really consider is making it shorter. Seeing something this long puts people off reading it. ...

I thought this was good. :) Yes, the fact that the boy (he's Strick, right?) is too young to talk like that, does make this a bit unrealistic, but I ...

Good, but I think it could have a better ending; it's a bit too "up-in-the-air" for my liking. :) Otherwise, it's very well written, and the characters are believable. The ...

*blinks* I found this confusing. She... has cut herself, loves someone and is following someone who is perhaps the one she loves, who is insubstantial and unclear? :S Sorry, but ...

Yuh, this is good! I think you did the (dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun) foreshadowing just fine. Stands to reason that it can't stay perfect. :) With her chores done and permission to sit ...

Good, but your style is too broken up, with too many short sentances. I'm in favour of a few short ones here and there, but not too many. She held ...

Interesting! I read the original tale thru the link you gave for the contest, and I must say, I prefer your retelling of it. :) Less frustrating with all the ...

Was I so tall, could reach the pole, Or grasp the ocean with a span; I would be measured by the soul, The mind's the standard of the man. [The ...

Funny, but very abrupt. The title goes well with it, but aparently the "We'll always have Paris" is from a Bogart film which I have not seen, so cannot appreciate. ...