Twit

Ew, this was *blanches* nasty. Freaky. Disturbing. Nasty. *gulp* No grammer nitpickings noted here. Why is all this happening, though? That's what I want to know; I suppose it'll be ...

This would be good as a prologue. Sets up the story in the beginning of chapter 1. But "The Master" sticks out like guano on George Bush's shoulder. Nix it... ...

Please remember the rule about commas and small letters in dialogue. *sobs* Please? At least I’m rid of that human boy . He thought... See? Grammer and sentance structure aside, ...

This seems good! I haven't read the parts that come before this, but this bit is certainly intriguing. The Aave shrugged , "That's not really my problem." Full stop instead ...

The next day there was an object in the sky. Not a bird. Not a plane. And this time not even Superman. It was Super Boy. Good beginning, I like ...

Yet another who followed Ari's sig-link. :wink: There isn't anything for me to rip apart here - everyone else has dunnit, and there wasn't much to start with. This was ...

Great! Crazy Radcliffe = :lol: Stupid actors, never trust them. :lol: I will serve Daniel I love Daniel.. Comma after the first Daniel. My hand was itching really badly, where ...

Gah! Cliffhanger!! The main thing here was the complete lack of paragraphs. Not a single line of spacing between dialogue or nothing. She picked up on the third ring , ...

It's fine! But no one's posting to the story at all!

I always thought of "conflict" having the same gist as "action"; that being things happening.

"This thread's dead . *hits thread hard* Where's everyone gone?" ~The Raven "You scared them away." ~Rohsair "Whatever." ~The Raven "New subject. Who's oldest and who's youngest?" ~Fal "I'm the ...

Weird romance that gets stuck in the "Women's Fiction" in ASDA. The Turquoise Scarab. The Turquoise Spider.

I don't like Bible fanfics (DUH), but this was well written and all. Kitty did the nitpick as always. :)

one that was sad enough for me was Fool's Fate by Robin Hobb... I'll say. I walked around in a daze for ages after I'd read it. Some of the ...

Sounds like a terribly depressing autobiography of child abuse. It'll have a close up of a small girl's face on the cover, and some additional text about A trust betrayed... ...