Twinflower

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This is a good poem--I like how the mood is dark and desperate until the last stanza, when everything is resolved. I liked the first stanza a lot, with the ...

The prologue/first paragraph was a little brutal, but good. I really enjoyed the description at the beginning, but I think you should try and incorporate your description in with some ...

This poem has a very good mood and tone to it. I could sense the narrater's emotions and her longing/confusion about whether he was with her still or not. I ...

The desert surrounds me, Stretching to every horizon, Cracked and dry with age, Flat and featureless But for scattered, fibrous plants Which with rare tenacity Cling to the rugged earth. ...

It's beautiful, but why is she chained? :( Anyway, very nice. I wish I could draw like that!

Removed

This was really powerful and it made me sad. But I like sad things :D The lines and words flowed together well and the pace of it seemed just right ...

This had a lot of good description, but at first I wasn't sure why you spent so much time talking about the James character when he dies right away in ...

This was fun, but the formatting and grammar/ spelling mistakes made it hard to read. :? Otherwise, I liked it. I liked the difference between the popular bad kids and ...

removed.

Hi there, This was quite good, in my opinion. Your description is very well done and your character is interesting, as well as the mystery surrounding her. Just a couple ...

Hi Fuffy, This is a really good beginning for a story. I think you had enough detail, but if you feel like you need to add more, maybe you could ...

Fortunately, I only have the Linnea part of the name--not the Borealis part, thank goodness. I already have to deal with one name people can't pronounce!! The only nicknames I've ...

Hello everybody! I'm Twinflower. (twinflower=common name for Linnaea Borealis=the flower I'm named after, just so you know) Anyway, I write a lot and my friends think I'm crazy to love ...