Tríona

:-k Erm... I luuurve description but I kinda found it confusing when you started using all the body jargon.:oops: I found myself glossing over all these parts and then getting ...

:D I liked the flow of the story - it seemed effortless and natural. However, I would agree with the comments above about paragraphing, emotion etc. I do think that ...

:) It's nice....... but I think that the rhyming was forced at times- Was gone With your song I think it might flow better if "With your song " was ...

:?...greantess... :?

:shock: [Yreal wrote]Yeah... I don't think they have much freedom of speech in Ireland. [/quote] :evil: Excuse me! Thats Northern Ireland. You can say what you like in the republic! ...

I quite liked it actually. :) However you forgot to capatilise the letter "i" in a number of places. I’m 8 my birthday was last month, 23rd of November. I ...

:? Zero tolerance is the best answer to anti-social behaviour. What do you think ?

:shock: Ohh that does sound way better!

:shock: :lol: :lol: He he he ! Really funny - bizare - but funny!

=P~ Please go on ! How did Thomas get in the desert; Will he die ; Whats happening next ? I'm enthralled!!!! Good opening! :wink:

:D Thanks 4evadreaming! You're right about the scorcers killing bit :lol: It needs a bit of work. I'll go fix it. The end needs a bit of work as well ...

Chapter 1 ; Even Stars must Fall Miss Musgrave, could you please share with the class what you find so extremely fascinating about the back of Mr. Browns head?’ Cassandra ...

It's good - but like Noxious said it does get a bit confusing at times. Grammaticaly its a bit off also. I said - " Don't call her insane" Her ...

=D> I loved it! Especially the line: Is but love a distance It's so evocative and meaningful. Keep up the good work!! :wink:

Little Mac trembled at the thought of dealing with bobbymajoe