Trident

Well I just found the other chapters. They weren't listed on the Other Fiction page so I assumed this was an isolated piece. That would definitely change what details I ...

Well, I read the first part a while back and commented on it. I just read through the rest. I'll just comment on the earlier ones that I thought the ...

First of all, you should have some sort of rating on this story. It's pretty graphic. In the middle of the dark building there’s an air shaft that plunges down ...

This is a piece that requires some work. It's kind of plain, and not to be a jerk, but boring. You do need to fix up the grammar, that distracts ...

What is going on? I have no idea. ;) I love the detached sentence format-- fragments, the omittance of some smaller words, short sentences. I use this technique myself sometimes. ...

Hmmm... perhaps you could use the fact that there is nothing going on to your advantage. Maybe try and hook your audience with something they could relate to. "She pitied ...

I see. So what to Brits call what we call brackets?

I always thought brackets were these: [ ] They seem to be used less often, rarely in fiction. They're more for computer programming and dealing with data.

[This is part one of four parts of my short story. It is a tragedy, but some might consider the ending to have at least some happiness to it. Please, ...

I was looking for things to change or critique and can't seem to find anything! :) It was concise, well written, and most importantly, held my attention, even though it ...

War is a long way off... especially since they have nuclear capacity now. More extreme sanctions will likely be carried out. The U.S. can't afford sending in many troops, so ...

I suppose if you're not one for drama, then this isn't a show for you. I personally like sci-fi, but I think this show outdoes anything else. I like the ...

Anybody watch this show? I frakking love it.

Very handy. Me likes.

This is a short piece I did a couple years back that I considered bringing to novel form, but moved on to something else. It is Pope Leo I's thoughts ...