Trident

Granted, but you never wake up! I wish I had a delicious plate of turkey and mashed potatoes with gravy to eat right now.

To start off, might I suggest that your first line go here: Okay, this prologue is terrible. The emotional scenery that Griffinkeeper mentioned is particularily bad. A character feeling nothing? ...

You know what? You're absolutely right. I tried to see if it was ever used in a case of first person or perhaps even third person formal (in which case ...

This isn't terrible, but it isn't that good either. The lions have emotions that are human, which can be good, if they are interesting emotions. Disney uses this device quite ...

Okay, first of all, the grammar is horrendous. It makes this piece almost impossible to read. You need to study up on comma usage. The beginning is... bad, emo bad. ...

For your age, this is good writing, London Aspen. But I assume you want to get better, so you've come to the right place. The story, well, it just seems ...

Thanks all! And thanks Fand for knighting me! I shall bring honor and light back to YWS and keep out the craptastic work that keeps invading our hallowed lands.

Hello. Hope your stay here helps improve your writing. We try to make it accommodating as possible.

Oh, do we ever... Welcome to the site. I'm sure you'll find it fun, and crazy to boot.

It was nice, gyr. Good flow and description. One thing I noticed that seemed out of style: the word "hoodie". It's a common word used by us younger people, but ...

The writing overall is not bad, but the story itself is kind of bland. Perhaps it's because I'm a guy and I'm not interested in Gina's story, or maybe because ...

This was a great piece. I found it entertaining and the characters elicited a response from me that was very real. I felt their pain. A couple of things. It ...

This was possibly the most outlandish thing I have ever read. It made little sense, especially politically, scientifically, and, well, in every way really. Archright is a character that has ...

Sorry, I can't say I really liked this piece. It was too, well, substanceless. There is no story. At first, it looked like there was going to be some profoundness... ...

Interesting piece (although the word "interesting" is often a cop-out when it comes to opinion). I liked the satire which makes me want to not take the story, and life ...