ToritheMonster

Hey WhiteDolphin! I'm Tori, or Dreamy. Welcome to the site! If you're getting serious about writing, you've come to the right place. Post some of your works here and you'll ...

Wow. Usually emo/suicidal poems are terrible or whiney..... but this was amazing. It hooked me from the start, and I didn't stop reading it. You language and the flow of ...

Hey there! My edits are in red . What you are reading has been written in accordance to the Great War. It has been written so the Ancient History may ...

Hey there! My edits are in red . What you are reading has been written in accordance to the Great War. It has been written so the Ancient History may ...

Hey there! Tori here. Let's get right to it! Plastic smiles, paper hearts My heart is crumpled on the floor The immediate repetition of 'heart' takes away from the potential ...

Toast. Yes, I do realize it's seven at night.

Toast. Yes, I do realize it's seven at night.

Secrets are fun to tell..... I'm a pyromaniac! Inteeeresting, hmmm?

Eep! Had no idea things were going to start moving so quickly.... I thought there'd be a little while until the fight! But hokay. Me likey fighting. Oh, and is ...

See, I liked all of them, even the sixth. Actually, I liked the 6th a lot. And I've always thought of myself as a harsh critic. I thoroughly enjoyed the ...

Oh.... XD Just ate ungodly amounts of jelly babies

What's a roti? It sounds like a person. I knew it! Grilled cheese and tomato soup.

Um..... not really rateable cuz they is just linksies!

Wow, I have missed sooooo much. I read the last few pages- so they're about to attack Eighth's camp in an hour or so? And Eighth isn't being a very ...

I suggest a description of the corpse. It's a clue to how they were killed and builds suspense. Then you'll break it later on in the book when the whole ...