ToritheMonster

I remember a time so many years ago when you jumped on my lap, arched your back and sighed Emerald eyes. I remember a place so many years ago where ...

III Sara ran, trying to find somewhere to be safe. Closet, there. Inside, safe. She collapsed on the floor, shivering, covering her face with her clammy hands. No, be strong, ...

Hi! you're welcome to review any of my story. :mrgreen:

Hi! I must say, I really like what you have so far, no matter how short it is. Your descriptions made me feel like I was right there, and it's ...

hmmmm... like your last review said, this is extremely cliche-y. I think if you change it around a little, it could be good, though. Here's what i suggest: a nice ...

Wow-- this was really good. Please post more! Your grammar and spelling seemed prefect, and the entire story was engrossing! What impresses me even more was that you wrote, in ...

Hi there! ooh, cool title! *reads* Wow! This was really good! I just have a few suggestions: Try to keep your lines shorter. long lines are daunting to the reader, ...

Hey! I can see that you've been bullied and/or witnessed it. I can see that you were venting when you wrote this. however: poems don't need to rhyme1 you try ...

Well... you're into religion, i can see, and that's great. However, the whole "Christ can see your sins" thing might mildly offend some people, and i think you tried a ...

Hi there! First of all, I love your title, although that probably seems redundant by now.However, your story, to quote the last post "is built on sunshine and daisies." which ...

Though brief, i thought this first chapter was awesome! I think the last post covers most of my concerns. If you really want to suck readers in, try using a ...

Hi! I'm Tori, and im (you guessed it) new to TYWS. I love it already, and have posted most of a story im writing- it's called "my first story-- part ...

II Class ended. “Hey,” Sara called out to Nerezza in the hallway. “Are you too stupid to remember that I’m supposed to give you a tour?” She asked, even though ...

Hmm... this is okay...The plot's pretty weak, and it's slightly confusing.

slow sad and sweet. i dunno why, but it reminds me of Ray Bradbury. keep writing!