ToritheMonster

Wow! This was really good. My edits are in bold-- some of them are suggested ways of rewording. It was raining at the airport. Fat grey droplets pour ed down ...

Awww.... I really liked this. here's a suggestion: instead of: In a world so cruel, In a world so cold, One girl sits, And cries alone. how about: In a ...

between my twin and me.” this should be "and I." “I have always thought that my name was referring to the color of my heart, not the shading of my ...

Dear God: Wow! This was really good! It looks like everyone else has caught the errors, so I can just shower you with praise! *throws flowers* I loved your wording! ...

Alright, first w/ the editing. I did my corrections on bold. My memory is stained with your memories, y our blood, y our t ears of all your past. I ...

Wow! This was utterly entrancing. it was dark, spooky, sad, and suspenseful, all at once. :D Your grammar and spelling is perfect too, as far as I can see. The ...

Sorry this one's so long :smt005 .... as you can probably now tell, it would have been weird to cut it off in the middle. :evil: Grrrrr!!!!!!!!! I wish i ...

Sara woke up in the morning feeling confident. She was the most powerful girl in the school, the queen. Her pawns needed to be kept in place, and currently, Nerezza ...

Yeah, the first parts are a little confusing-- but it will all come together soon. Actually, starting with my next chapter. :mrgreen:

Thanks again! Yeah, this isn't my best chapter. It needs a lot of editing.

Thanks, Seraph. Actually, the dream person and Nerezza aren't supposed to be the same-- you'll see why later. Thanks for all the reviews.

Woah! Before I even review, please rate this accordingly! The f word makes this at least 16+.

aright! this is pretty good, but like the review above me says, it gets hard to understand and seemingly pointless. You also use big words-- its nice to have a ...

I will review later, but good job so far!

This is very good1 I don't see why your friend dissuaded you-- they were probably jealous. Sure, your plot isn't exactly original, but it's entertaining and you spin it well. ...