ToritheMonster

“What’s going on out here?” yelled someone almost at the corner. Nerezza waggled her fingers in farewell and melted into the shadows. The rain stopped and the principal, Mr. Nesbitt ...

Hi! Just asking for a few more people to review. Thanks!

This is good! My only problem is the last line: mine as a loving crutch! It sounds like you just needed a word to rhyme with touch, and crutch.... well, ...

Black horses in the sea, Oh, they’re pulling at me. See the dark close Around Oh, velvet blackness, Not a sound. Watch memories. They’re drifting by. Of truth and virtue, ...

Hi! First of all, great work. This was really good. I enjoyed reading it. Here's my corrections, in bold. If you see an asterisk, that means that I took out ...

Hi! Great poem. My only problem is that you say "peddles" I assume you mean "petals", like those on a flower, not pedal like others have suggested. :mrgreen: Overall, great ...

Hi! This was really good-- it kept me entertained. It looks like everyone else has pointed out what I found wrong. My only suggestions are that you give some more ...

Thanks for the reviews!! I'm currently writing more, and editing what I have. :mrgreen:

Thanks for the reviews!! I'm currently writing more, and editing what I have. :mrgreen:

Thanks! Yes, I know it would be mostly for pre-teens. It does get a little more complex as it goes on, but I wasn't really aiming for an adult age ...

Thanks! Actually, this isn't the climax... sort of a mini climax, i guess, if that's possible. And yes, I know the details aren't really there right now, but all will ...

Hi! To answer your questions: 1) No, I didn't find this preachy, it was actually quite engrossing. 2) It is mostly coherent, I will touch on that when I review. ...

hmm... your imagery was very good, and your spelling and grammar was spot on. However, the point of this poem evades me. What is it supposed to be about. Also, ...

I have to agree with Snoink... and you really should take criticism a little more easily. my school is having that contest too, and I can give you advice from ...

Hi! This was quite touching. However, it needs a lot of editing. You are an advanced writer, and you could catch most of them yourself if you just skim through. ...