ToritheMonster

You're welcome.

Hey, here I am with my promised review! So, I'd correct you on grammar, but it looks like that's been caught by other reviewers. I'll go on to tense. You ...

Thanks! I don't know if you really can do this, but I kinda have little mini climaxes in between normal parts. I sure hope that's okay, cuz I've written a ...

Here I am, as promised! :mrgreen: I don't have time for a full grammatical review-- but you especially wanted comments on voices and characters anyway. Overall, your characters were good. ...

Thanks! I'll be sure to review yours. That's a cool plot! I might use some ideas, thanks again. :mrgreen:

Ok. Sorry, I just tend to get harsh. Just.... watch it. It's like, one and the same. Or just change those two lines so as not to anger fans of ...

Thanks, everyone! Yes, I'm sorry it's so short, I typically describe my surroundings, but I had a word limit. And there are 3 more issues left in this year-- so ...

Here's part one of a 3-part story I'm writing for my school newspaper. Enjoy, and critique away! “Jump” said a voice from behind him. The boy turned. “Excuse me?” He ...

She opened the door quietly. Her mom was slumped outside, asleep and clutching an iPhone limply. Sara glanced at the glowing screen. Her mom had dialed 911, but had not ...

Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Well, I have many issues with this, the first being that this is completely unoriginal. I mean, did you watch The Incredibles right before writing this? You practically quoted ...

Woah, I think Rosey covered everything. I, personally, loved this! Yes, it has some punctuation errors and such, but I'm just going to talk about your writing. First, I love ...

Good idea, thanks!

C'mon, good people of YWS!!!!!! Just one measly review!!!!!!!! that's all I ask of you.................. (that's a song, isn't it?) please???????

Hey, just wondering if i could get some more reviews. If you haven't read the other parts, be sure to click back a few pages. :smt004 --Dreamy :mrgreen: please?

Well, you clarified the trap part, which is good. However, you still have lots of spellings and grammar mistakes, and I still don't understand the pill of bills line. Also, ...