ToritheMonster

Woah. That was.... scary. But good! Yes, scary but good. One problem: How do you eat a head? I mean, you have a skull.... and stuff.... ew. I'm eating jello ...

Thanks! I know, I'm awful at all things non-fictional. I'll be sure to fix this up. --Dreamy

I totally agree with everyone else. Don't chat speak, and add some more emotion. And grrrr! You didn't punctuate! I'm inclined to agree with Ben. Why don't you try prose. ...

ok. there's a big break between them soon. Thanks!

Please oh please can I be stabbed by scissors because I anger my fellow preschooler? Name's Tori. :) If that doesn't work, I'll settle for something undramatic. Like choking to ...

This was awesome! I totally know what you mean by how the clouds look like a painting. Your imagery was great, and I really love this poem! It was also ...

Whoa. This hurt my eyes. Not really your fault, but could you put an extra line in between the phrases? Anyway, about your poem! It was awesome! It was really ...

Hey, that was awesome! I'm not a particularly religious person, but I still appreciated the beauty of this poem. You rhyming was very good as well. One nitpick: is that ...

That was really pretty! It was simple, yet beautiful. You said a lot without fancy wording or many words, and that's just how I like poetry. Nice punctuation, too! I ...

Nice job! I've liked everything of yours that I've read, and this was definitely up to par.You're quite funny, and you made me laugh. I think Aqua caught all the ...

This was awesome! Mildly greusome, but awesome! You really captured how some people feel after a reallllly bad day. And by some people, I mean me. Amazing poem. I also ...

Tee-hee. That was cute. Make sure to post part two! And I wonder how you'll manage to hack through the fire wall... Anyway, nice story. Be sure to post more, ...

Hi! This was really cool. You really gave the main character (or whatever you wanna call him/her) feelings. It really reminded me of immigrants who have left and then returned. ...

Nice! I like your style, and internal monologue with outside components. Did you want people to relate to it? Because while I didn't, I think others might.Overall, though, great job! ...

Nice story! This was really cool. Suggestions: Why not keep his name secret? That would be cool. Run over this again. You forgot to capitalize a few 'I's. "Five days ...