ToritheMonster

Hey there! Here I am, as corrections/comments are in reddish pink, and an asterisk means I took something out. The Assassin’s Redemption Chapter 1 Dracon rocked back on his heels ...

Wow, I really loved this! It really did have a "chant" rhythm to it, almost like a song. My nitpicks: The boat- just float we’re almost there. after "float" add ...

Hey! I liked this poem. Your style of repetition was cute, though if the poem had gone on I would have gotten really captured how someone who is engaged to ...

Hey! First off, welcome to YWS. Next: a bit of a reality check. This poem made very little sense. For example: "From the things that were less stark." "Stark" makes ...

Hey there! Dreamy here. Let's get right down to it, my corrections in reddish pink: I call for you in the morning light, whispers fill my ears. The shadows cast ...

Hey! I think everyone else took all my nitpicks, so I'll just stick to the positives. I really liked your poem! It was cute, and simple yet meaningful. I like ...

HI! I really liked this poem, it showed lots of emotion, but not outwardly. Make sure you take everyone else's nitpicks, and then this will be awesome! It's a nice ...

Hi! Okay, the first thing I thought when I read this was: "Oh my goodness! Another person who loves marmalade as much as I do!!!! So I, as a fellow ...

Hey,I'm Dreamy, and I'll be your reviewer today. First off, I'd just like to say that this is one of the best short stories I've read in quite a while. ...

Hi! I liked this, it was a nice little read. Here's my review, my corrections in reddish pink: Not a single thing on the earth Can compare to the evening ...

Here's a song, to be sung to the tune of Beethoven's "ode to joy": Oh my mango, I so love you. You complete my life for me! If there was ...

Hi! Could you review part twelve of my story in other fiction? Sorry If you don't understand what's happening, I just want a grammar, etc. review. Thanks! And I don't ...

Hi! Could you review part twelve of my story in other fiction? Sorry If you don't understand what's happening, I just want a grammar, etc. review. Thanks! And I don't ...

Hi! Could you review part twelve of my story in other fiction? Sorry If you don't understand what's happening, I just want a grammar, etc. review. Thanks! And I don't ...

Want a review? I'd be happy to review anything! I especially like short works-- that way my reviews can be more detailed. But I'll do anything, if you ask! Also, ...