Torigirl15

thank you for the suggustions on changing the last two lines, and yes i was supposed to add in puncuation for the first stanza, thank you for telling me!

Aww... this was a really sweet story. I enjoyed reading it, and i like the way you began and ended with the "Don't go" phrase. One thing that did confused ...

I love the percy jackson series, and I think this was written exactly like the books. It was almost like I was reading a forgotton chapter! There were a few ...

i like the way you created images of the things that were... chasing? you. i thought it was a pretty good poem that consisted of something that we can relate ...

overall, i thought this story was pretty confusing, and i lost interest half way through. you didn't flucuate your sentaces, and you added commas in places that periods should have ...

i really enjoyed reading this! the first second left off on a cliff hanger,which i enjoyed. and no, i don't think you need to remake the second part, if you ...

i liked this poem, but i got lost in the last stanza. i was confused about the flash was off in the distance, or what the discovery was... =)

okay, i just have to say that because my name is victoria, i totally love this poem. XD i think its pretty amazing, and goes into character perfectly! i guess ...

i don't agree with fire starter here. i think this poems intent is to let you come up with your own images, and your own interpretation of it. painting a ...

maybe needs a little work on flow, but other than that i loved it! it really shows what each person feels, and makes you wonder exactly what went down during ...

i really liked the first paragraph! i love horses, and that's exactly how i feel when a horse i ride goes out of control. one thing though is that you ...

ME GUSTA! a couple parts don't flow as well, but those can be fixed by moving words to the next line, or by changing a couple of your word choices. ...

there were a lot of run ons! also, don't forget, you don't necessarily have to use a period after each thought, try adding some commas in. don't have the character ...

yay! im really happy you like it! i was worried that it wasn't very good, and i'm still makeing a lot of adjustments to it. =]