Torigirl15

I like this! It's funny, but not in an outright way. I only had a few corrections. :) On that holy second I decided that I would never become a ...

This is a really weird way to write, and probably is hard to understand at times. Really rough, but I wanted to see what people thought of the style and ...

I think it's a little rough, but that makes it all that much more amazing. =D Loved this poem, keep writing!

I like your style of writing! One thing I was wondering about is how Tallor could be so annoyed that he wasn't going to be king when he's only 14. ...

Thanks for the reviews! Sargsauce, I realize there isn't much of a story line yet, its only chapter one, so I'll definitely be going more into detail later. Also, it's ...

Alright, so this is extremely rough, and has no action in it. Sorry, but I promise it gets better. Please don't be too harsh with the story line, as it's ...

This has a lot of potential, but you really need to clean it up. I'm not even going to list all the grammatical errors, it would just take too long. ...

Hey! Tori here for a review! ^^ Okay, first off, I absolutely love the Maximum Ride series, and I'm really excited that you decided to do a fan fiction about ...

Back again! You asked for me to point out all the typos, so here goes! New York City, It had been Don't capitalize "it" moved faster but he wa put ...

Well, I actually have ch. 1 and two posted, but I'm doing a lot of editing on them so I don't know if you want to read them yet. =) ...

Hi! If you haven't read the prologue, you might want to in order to understand these two chapters. Tear it apart, and have fun with it! XD Chapter One: Homecoming ...

Hi! I'm back for more! =p Now, i hope you'll excuse me, but I'm going to quote your entire script in here in order to make sure i edit the ...

Hi! Here to critique! =p Well, a lot of people have already caught most of the mistakes, but i'll see if i find anything else.... mmm.... The bell rings and ...

I loved this! at times, the dialogue seemed slightly forced, but that was only once or twice. Other than that, this was completely "Awesome!" Keep it up! -Tori =D Pm ...

Yet another beginning. This is similar to another prologue i posted, but more in depth. Thanks! Prologue- Secret Club House: A man is not old until regrets take the place ...