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Re: Broken Heart
This kind of reminded me of the famous 'Ten Things I Hate about You' poem. Short and sweet. It's the kind of poem where a lot of people, even if ...
Oct 25, 2009 -
Re: The Death of Daniel Gray
This is a little excerpt of a prologue from the story I'm focusing on at the moment. It seems kind of meaningless but I'm just trying to figure out what ...
Oct 25, 2009 -
Re: A Stupid Love Song
I really liked this, I have to say. I mean, it was simple but it is one of those songs that reminds you of the good `ol bubble gum sweet ...
Mar 9, 2009 -
Re: Open Up
Hi, my main advice in this is just that you should probably try to make things just a little more simple and cut down on sentences or break them up ...
Mar 9, 2009 -
Re: Missing
Clo - Definitely was helpful! :) It's good getting this kind of critiquing because its pointing out a lot of things that I never even think about when I'm writing, ...
Mar 8, 2009 -
Re: Missing
Aw thank you all. Thank you for making me see some things clearer too. With the Dad, I should work on making that a bit clearer because what I meant ...
Mar 7, 2009 -
Re: Bart!
Aww He's adorable! I actually like the picture. It looks real. I'm no photography expert or anything, though, but i really do like it. I like how the little path ...
Mar 7, 2009 -
Re: Missing
This is just this short story we had to do in my English class, exploring the concept of 'change'. It is basically a blurred truth of mine. I got 19/20 ...
Mar 7, 2009 -
Re: Blithe Bereavement - Prologue
Really really good! It completely drew me in- and I find it hard to get pulled into stories on the internet to read them through so it must be good. ...
Sep 17, 2008 -
Re: Little Magic Girl Doodle.
Aww Adorable! Her hair is really nice. I'm envious! I also really like the halo and the little stars from the wand. The way she's standing and the music notes ...
Sep 14, 2008 -
Re: The Wind that Carries Me
Well, I think all the corrections have already been pointed out so I will do some encouraging! I fall in love with the wind. Absolutely loved in. Since we don't ...
Sep 14, 2008 -
Re: New!
Hi! Uh...Usually I have a million things to say but then when I actually do it I just go brain dead or something and I forget. Haha me too! Things ...
Sep 14, 2008 -
Re: Circumstances Change (prt. 1)
PerforatedxHearts: Thanks. I understand where you are coming from and will definitely work on that. It's true I need to get a better feel of the characters and their situations. ...
Sep 11, 2008 -
Re: Circumstances Change (prt. 1)
Just an idea I've been toying with. Help is welcomed. - "Death's just another milestone in my life...Nothing to be worried about." - Running. I used to love it. Love ...
Sep 10, 2008 -
Re: life and all its random glory chapter 1
I really like the beginning. (Like everyone else has said, but it's true.) I think it foreshadows more than just the obvious of a body conscious person but also the ...
Sep 10, 2008
