TheClosetKidnapper

Up&Out here as requested! You have yourself a great poem. I really like the couplet "crazy comes as crazy goes/ I guess I'll never know" because it describes love and ...

This is great! I love how the rhyme scheme doesn't seemed forced and how everything flows nicely together. The only thing that seemed a little shaky is the last two ...

Hey! :) I liked this a lot. It was entertaining. Just a few things. 1. A childlike mind. You seemed to have grasped the idea, slipping into it, in the ...

This is great. You have vivid adjectives and have set the tone very well. The only thing I could see from an editing viewpoint is where you say adolescent children ...

This is such a heartfelt story! :D Just a few things though. First, in the second paragraph you mention the word dreaming twice in one sentence. I think that you ...

This is a very interesting read. I like it. One thing though, you say "pwrful" in Ember's thoughts around the fifth or forth to last paragraph. It should be "powerful" ...

This is really good. I like how you tell the story in passive voice instead of active. The only thing I could really suggest is to vary the beginnings of ...

So true. I don't know of anything to say other than that. I love how you seemed to stick with free-verse but maybe it would be better if you added ...

This is a great piece you've got here. I agree with Ben about how there isn't much to critique and how the description of the fight was vivid. But when ...

Each of them are good enough to be developed into a story but the best in my opinion are the second and the last. The second one could be opened ...

I agree with Sandayselkie, this is really good. I like how readers are given a glimpse into what this really is without coming out and saying so. You also have ...

Wow. First of all, let me say that this is very very good. I loved the twist at the end with the examiner and with Tony. It's a sad ending ...

First of all, I have to say that I love this story so far. But down to business, ;P... I really liked the twist with Miranda in this chapter and ...

I love how much emotion you put in this! :D I haven't read the chapters before this but I most definitely will now. The only thing that really stands out ...

Wow. This is really good. I can't really find anything to point out but I'm not that great of an editor either. :) Great story though. I'm looking forward to ...