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Re: The Crime - 1
For some reason, I couldn't really get a proper understanding or feel of this poem. I mean, I understood that it is about death, obviously, but, other than that, it ...
Aug 6, 2010 -
Re: Monsters
Wait, you don't normally write poetry? =O In that case, your really gifted to be able to write with such talent. There really aren't any mistakes besides the ones that ...
Aug 6, 2010 -
Re: The Pirate and The Sister: Chapter 1
That's a real nice piece of work. Good job. However, there are some mistakes. These suggestions and corrections will start from the beginning of the story to the end. They ...
Aug 6, 2010 -
Re: Corruption - Prologue
I stated the issues with calling the police multiple times so that the reader would understand the different reasons why they couldn't. If I didn't explain all of that, then ...
Aug 6, 2010 -
Re: Corruption - Prologue
C O R R U P T I O N Prologue ______________________________________________ E ight people sat at a wooden Renaissance table in a relatively dark room; the only light this ...
Aug 6, 2010 -
Re: Duel
I believe that this fight could've been greatly intensified if you described things a tad more. Like, let's say, the specific movements and attacks they made to one another. That ...
Aug 5, 2010 -
Re: Plunge
Well, I can't really give advice or anything since this isn't your work, but I do have to say that your eight-year old has some skill. He is well on ...
Aug 5, 2010 -
Re: Fly Free
At first, I thought it was a toy parrot or something of the like... Haha. But I looked at it again, read what you wrote underneath the picture, and realized ...
Aug 5, 2010
